The EXCELLENT exotic marigold hotel

<<< That was the awkward bit of the film where your the only one laughing, even the still is funny !

I was the only one in the cinema under the age of 49 (and awake the whole way through) i swear i could hear snoring behind me..... not that the film was boring, it was actually pure brilliance not in a "Saving private ryan" kinda way but more like "love actually".

There was some annoying woman sitting next to me who kept spoiling the film, for example "He's gonna die , i can tell he's gonna die...yeah deffinatley about to die...yeah he's dead , knew that was gonna happen" ..."WE F***** DIDNT" luckily i was eating popcorn and not minstrels because they could of caused serious damage to her face.

Each time i got to the cinema i always end up sitting next to this teacher from our school, i always butcher his name "Mr lycett lycese lycicle" lets just call him "cool moustache teacher"...
I thought Maggie Smith was brilliant (she reminded me of Ria) although she didn't have the same mysterious walk as Ria because she was in a wheel chair (i only wrote this because i know Ria's reading along as i type) ..
Anyway i like sleep so thats why i didn't go see Woman in Black with Ria ...but this film is recommended (and my mum said Bill Nighy is good looking in it) so BONUS !!
Ellen x

The Woman in Black

   So I took my Mum out for an early Birthday treat to see 'The Woman in Black".Having already seen the stage version which left me forgetting how to talk at a normal frequency after the amount of screaming and screeching I   underwent, I believed that the film would not live up to the 'scariness' of the play.
 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh"

   "Was it scary?" "It wasn't scary it was more sort of jumpy..." Get Out! If you weren't scared by this film then you are probably an android from the planet Zog.
   But I must admit, what made me scream the most was the ticket prices at the Vue. (It's flipping extortionate.)
   And it has been speculated that Dan Rad can still not break free from the stereotype of the Harry Potter franchise. I chose the picture to the left because the woman in the window has a striking resemblance to Lord Voldermort. If they had changed the scream to a "Nyeeeeeeeeeeh" I would have been convinced.
   To be honest, it SHOULD NOT have been rated a 12A-there were young children coughing up blood! (In the film I mean, not the audience.)
   The ending was good and different to the play. Mum didn't seem to understand what happened, she didn't even seem phased by it all but she enjoyed it nonetheless.
   Go see it if you haven't already.It's really well made. I suppose this is a kind of review thing Ellen was on about in the previous blog but I'd have wrote this anyway! I'm anticipating something by her on that Hotel thing for OAPs in the near future.

Ria xx

lets spice up the blogs ? or no that sounds shite ?

So I put forward an idea to Ria today that we should edge up our blogs a bit "right...".. "I was thinking we should do film reviews" ...this is where another friend added that we should "upload them to youtube" ..."no" she still preceded on even though obviously we are not putting our ugly mugs on camera . This is why ---
1. No one would watch it
2. For some reason we always do weird voices at inappropriate times
3. Cyber bullying
4. I laugh when I'm nervous (so editing would drain our lives)
5. That would defy the idea of a blog !
6. Blog not Vlog !

anyway we are very critical so they will be completely honest :D ...Yes ...Excellent... We will begin promptly

Ellen x

living life in NEW YORK

Central park

Times Square 

Bubba Gumps has to be the best restaurant in the world , basically its Forrest Gump themed and (just because i love Forrest ) utterly amaazzziiinnggg !!! they have the original costumes and a gift shop :D Although the guy sitting next to me's burger was raw it still was pretty awesome. I had a cheese burger in case anyone was wondering. Even if mine was raw i wouldn't have it in me to tell the over happy high voiced waiter. I was sitting at a table with a few people i didn't know so i tried to act cool by attempting to tell jokes but i ended up looking like a twat , and some how my story spiralled into something about a dead fly...

I also looked strange accepting condoms of a stranger mistaking them for sweets, i didn't know where to pack them so i put them in a my purse (which was awks when i went to buy a magazine at the airport). Apparently it was national condom day or something.

My cats been sending out hatred signals (because i left her), this is why I'm sensing this >

1. She's been leaving rooms when i walk in

2. She's only eating the food my dad puts down for her and ignoring mine

3. And she left a dead bird outside my room (which my Dad cleaned up....because if i cleaned it up that would be exactly what she wants, to see me suffer,,, my Dad said this excuse was worrying) 

so yeah NEW YORK best few days of my life (as well as Christmas 2007)!!! 

Ellen x

1000 views!

"Why do I have a fishing net sticking out of my body?"

   So I gave Ellen the option to either go to New York, or stick around and watch our blog counter hit 4 figures...(she doesn't know what she's missing). I can only liken it to New Years Eve in 1999 when everyone was thinking all the electronics would go up the wall, planes falling out of the sky and all that due to stuff not being programmed date-wise past the 90's.
   'Course that never actually happened, and I doubt Intellectual Idioms will self destruct when some little bloke lands on this page by accident on the thousandth view. In a similar way, the world will not end in 2012-but I'll save that for another time.
   So I've stuck around in England to wait for this moment and do a blog to keep you all half interested in Ellen's absence. (Not really, I didn't want to go to New York because it meant being stuck with the same people I have to put up with at school all week.)
   I've been keeping myself entertained of course, I hope you like the snowman. I started the base which took me ages, went inside for a bit to warm my frost bitten fingers up and when I came back, Dad had "finished it off". What I don't understand is that he made a hat for him out of snow and then stuck a real hat on top. I did a really good one the other year when Strictly Come Dancing was the craze so I made an Ann Widdecombe one.
   I got my Dad to escort me to and from school all of last week because I was not risking slipping over on the utter death trap that is the pavements. I do not understand how I can get overtaken by the tarts taking their tarty little tart steps across the ice in their tarty little ballet pumps. Anyone who has experienced this is thinking the same thing I reckon..."please fall!"
    I hope this did tide you over.
Ria xx

Me and my Calculator.



This is me!

    My best friend is my calculator. It's the cleverest "person" I know and even does tricky maths stuff for me. Yes it can be rude at times, flashing "B00B5" in my face at regular intervals but you learn to live with it.
   And to think I nearly lost him forever on Wednesday afternoon in a foolish act of idiocy on my part. Yes...I lent him to Ellen.
   "Reeeeeeerr?" Ellen slurred in her infamous twang.
   "What?"
   "Can I borrow your calculator?"
   "What for?" I inquired, clutching the calculator to my chest so hard that it got turned on...*that's not a euphemism*!
   "My general studies exam. I'll fail otherwise."
   "So?"
   "Oh pleeeeeeease Reeeeeeeeer, look at the one Dad gave me!" She held up a Casio 100BC.
   "I understand your pain."
   So I gave it to her and found I was sitting only 2 rows across from them both in the main hall so I could keep an eye on it. Ellen kept noticing throughout I was staring at her desk with clenched fists just incase the clumsy idiot knocked it off. I got really tense at the point where she attempted and failed to slide the lid back on over it...nearly knocked the pi button off didn't she?!
   Then we were reunited once more at 2:40pm. If you wish to picture this moment, imagine me in a meadow swinging it around to the lyrics "I can't see me loving nobody but you..." and you'll have it spot on.

Ria xx

late night ramble

This blog is really overdue because me and Ria had mock exams all week.

So I spent 2 weekends ago with my fabulous cousin , and we spent probably most of saturday night finding weird places to plank      (hahaha swap the pl for a w)
<< (i think my cousin won on originality). But this happy comedic mood got trampled, nay crushed by what was next to come....We watched Cold Mountain ...posibly the shiteist film the world had produced. So basically this woman waits around for the whole of the american civil war for her boyf to come home (he is home for an evening and then is shot) and loads of other main characters are killed, unfortunately not Nicole Kidman, we had to put up with her for the whole film.

Any way it was so funny in one of my exams,  some guy read the first question on the paper and slammed his head down on the desk for aprox 15 mins (I counted) I had to stop myself from laughing out loud because that would just be embarrassing.

Ria was very hesitant to lend me her precious caculator  (I don't break things that often Ria, just some of the time) ...she was watching me for most of the general studies exam , i could feel my ears burning from her worried glare , it was fine once i realised how not to put the lid back on.....anyway i only used it to make funny words when i finished early (type in 43114 - 1 = 43113 and then turn it upside down and in spells elleh, almost ellen ,,,mind blowing) .

I hope February brings you joy
Ellen x