RALFIE AND EACK !!

"No Jelly Fish will scare me!" (my cousin Rosa ran into the sea)
"(2 mins later) OMG THERE'S JELLY FISH EVERYWHERE !!" (runs out screaming)

Me and Rosa were hated by our other cousins when we were growing up , well lets be honest, we did some pretty rank pranks against them. We had /do have really devilish minds and every time we had a family gathering up north we spent them putting Pimms and (something really disgusting which will probably disturb you) in there beds ...so they had a surprise when they fell asleep. Even recently in Ireland we sprayed water all over someones bed so it was wet when they climbed in. (As I type I am  laughing evilly as the memories come flooding back) ...we were pretty cool kids.

We attempted surfing lessons together but the waves kept hitting the surf boards into our faces. Also the stuck up surf instructor (who thought he was really good looking... MEN SHOULDN'T FAKE TAN its gay) was really annoying. Right so i was half on the surf board and this massive wave came and he said "right I'm gonna push you on the wave" ..." noooonooonooo I'm not even on the board yet" ..(pushes me on wave  -_- ) fell off board, wave crashed down ..really deep water ..pissed off.  So our attempt at looking cool on a surf board failed so we just walked out mid-lesson which was fun nay rebellious  :)

its really hard to capture Rosa's awesomeness in a blog ..so i shall just put a pic.

OMG Irish food is the best

Ellen x

"Sorry we're terribly busy"

we have currently managed to escape the friendlings to the highest point...sorrento. We have developed a  technique for this operation it consistes of a nod to eachother, getting up (bags already intact) and dashing to the stairs by blanking any question from them by replying "sorry we're terribly busy, can't talk now terribly busy" occompanied by overexagerated arm gestures (imagine a camp man, hitting a drum wired to his chest) and trying to attempt a hundred meter sprint with your knees fused together   ^^ sums up our friendship

 

2 weeks with the parents -.-

got up close to a sheep (living life on the edge)

long time no speak ... so basically i had to go to Ireland for two weeks with only the parentals SUCH FUN -.- but not such fun as this meant being dragged up mountains -.- long bike rides up hills (down hills is fine nay fun) -.-
I think the highlight was when our up hill bike ride was cut very short (to the end of the lane) because my Mum got knocked off her bike by on coming traffic (she didn't hurt herself its fine) but i heard her scream behind me "STUPID PRATS" which if you know my mum this is hilarious because she's really posh and never says things like that , she suddenly went all cockney like Ria.. But anyway it meant that i could go back to the house and watch 'Man Vs Food'  WIN ! he was taking on a giant steak, thrilling stuff.

Im deathly afraid of heights , knowing this information my mum thought it would be fun to climb to the top of a castle with no safety fence , some Irish guy reassured me by saying "(que Irish accent) o its fine las, there's a  deep lake surrounding the castle" fabulous.

It wasn't all bad... i got to watch lambs being born, and laugh at my Dad's disgustingness as he watched through his binoculars the lamb err coming out (Awkward). And you must admit the Irish Accent is the best...and it gave me the chance to perfect my own version of it. "There's more to Ireland den dis" The farmer next door thought this was insulting :/

Ellen x

Cinema-ing.

   Alright-y-y-yes I know. Yes it has been ages. But we have an excuse...alright we don't (perhaps Ellen's hideous green wallpaper put me off?) but here's a post so stop whinging!



Mmmmmmmmmmm!



   So I've finally been able to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (like a millenia after Ellen) so I'm going to blog about it because nothing else of the slightest interest has happened to me recently-even the hosepipe ban makes better news than I.
   Basically I will reiterate what Ellen said previosuly-amazing, go see it! It's totally different to the other tripe being released as in it has a cast of cherished actors and actresses or more commonly known as old people.
   Speaking of which, I have a liking for Bill Nighy now. If Ellen was around, she'd make a snide remark about me chasing after old men. But what I mean is, he looks better with shorter hair that's all...aher.

   Other actors far too old for Ellen and I featured in 'she stoops to conquer' which was broadcast live from the Olivier Theatre in London. We really enjoyed it and felt that some good decent literature would counteract the rubbish we are usually exposed to.
   It had a plethora of ITV 'stars' such as that northern bloke from Benidorm and Becky from Coronation Street but what caught our attention were the two gentlemen you can see to the right. I think we've settled that Ellen can have the blue coated one and I'll have the yellow coated one-sorted.
 

The EXCELLENT exotic marigold hotel

<<< That was the awkward bit of the film where your the only one laughing, even the still is funny !

I was the only one in the cinema under the age of 49 (and awake the whole way through) i swear i could hear snoring behind me..... not that the film was boring, it was actually pure brilliance not in a "Saving private ryan" kinda way but more like "love actually".

There was some annoying woman sitting next to me who kept spoiling the film, for example "He's gonna die , i can tell he's gonna die...yeah deffinatley about to die...yeah he's dead , knew that was gonna happen" ..."WE F***** DIDNT" luckily i was eating popcorn and not minstrels because they could of caused serious damage to her face.

Each time i got to the cinema i always end up sitting next to this teacher from our school, i always butcher his name "Mr lycett lycese lycicle" lets just call him "cool moustache teacher"...
I thought Maggie Smith was brilliant (she reminded me of Ria) although she didn't have the same mysterious walk as Ria because she was in a wheel chair (i only wrote this because i know Ria's reading along as i type) ..
Anyway i like sleep so thats why i didn't go see Woman in Black with Ria ...but this film is recommended (and my mum said Bill Nighy is good looking in it) so BONUS !!
Ellen x

The Woman in Black

   So I took my Mum out for an early Birthday treat to see 'The Woman in Black".Having already seen the stage version which left me forgetting how to talk at a normal frequency after the amount of screaming and screeching I   underwent, I believed that the film would not live up to the 'scariness' of the play.
 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh"

   "Was it scary?" "It wasn't scary it was more sort of jumpy..." Get Out! If you weren't scared by this film then you are probably an android from the planet Zog.
   But I must admit, what made me scream the most was the ticket prices at the Vue. (It's flipping extortionate.)
   And it has been speculated that Dan Rad can still not break free from the stereotype of the Harry Potter franchise. I chose the picture to the left because the woman in the window has a striking resemblance to Lord Voldermort. If they had changed the scream to a "Nyeeeeeeeeeeh" I would have been convinced.
   To be honest, it SHOULD NOT have been rated a 12A-there were young children coughing up blood! (In the film I mean, not the audience.)
   The ending was good and different to the play. Mum didn't seem to understand what happened, she didn't even seem phased by it all but she enjoyed it nonetheless.
   Go see it if you haven't already.It's really well made. I suppose this is a kind of review thing Ellen was on about in the previous blog but I'd have wrote this anyway! I'm anticipating something by her on that Hotel thing for OAPs in the near future.

Ria xx

lets spice up the blogs ? or no that sounds shite ?

So I put forward an idea to Ria today that we should edge up our blogs a bit "right...".. "I was thinking we should do film reviews" ...this is where another friend added that we should "upload them to youtube" ..."no" she still preceded on even though obviously we are not putting our ugly mugs on camera . This is why ---
1. No one would watch it
2. For some reason we always do weird voices at inappropriate times
3. Cyber bullying
4. I laugh when I'm nervous (so editing would drain our lives)
5. That would defy the idea of a blog !
6. Blog not Vlog !

anyway we are very critical so they will be completely honest :D ...Yes ...Excellent... We will begin promptly

Ellen x

living life in NEW YORK

Central park

Times Square 

Bubba Gumps has to be the best restaurant in the world , basically its Forrest Gump themed and (just because i love Forrest ) utterly amaazzziiinnggg !!! they have the original costumes and a gift shop :D Although the guy sitting next to me's burger was raw it still was pretty awesome. I had a cheese burger in case anyone was wondering. Even if mine was raw i wouldn't have it in me to tell the over happy high voiced waiter. I was sitting at a table with a few people i didn't know so i tried to act cool by attempting to tell jokes but i ended up looking like a twat , and some how my story spiralled into something about a dead fly...

I also looked strange accepting condoms of a stranger mistaking them for sweets, i didn't know where to pack them so i put them in a my purse (which was awks when i went to buy a magazine at the airport). Apparently it was national condom day or something.

My cats been sending out hatred signals (because i left her), this is why I'm sensing this >

1. She's been leaving rooms when i walk in

2. She's only eating the food my dad puts down for her and ignoring mine

3. And she left a dead bird outside my room (which my Dad cleaned up....because if i cleaned it up that would be exactly what she wants, to see me suffer,,, my Dad said this excuse was worrying) 

so yeah NEW YORK best few days of my life (as well as Christmas 2007)!!! 

Ellen x

1000 views!

"Why do I have a fishing net sticking out of my body?"

   So I gave Ellen the option to either go to New York, or stick around and watch our blog counter hit 4 figures...(she doesn't know what she's missing). I can only liken it to New Years Eve in 1999 when everyone was thinking all the electronics would go up the wall, planes falling out of the sky and all that due to stuff not being programmed date-wise past the 90's.
   'Course that never actually happened, and I doubt Intellectual Idioms will self destruct when some little bloke lands on this page by accident on the thousandth view. In a similar way, the world will not end in 2012-but I'll save that for another time.
   So I've stuck around in England to wait for this moment and do a blog to keep you all half interested in Ellen's absence. (Not really, I didn't want to go to New York because it meant being stuck with the same people I have to put up with at school all week.)
   I've been keeping myself entertained of course, I hope you like the snowman. I started the base which took me ages, went inside for a bit to warm my frost bitten fingers up and when I came back, Dad had "finished it off". What I don't understand is that he made a hat for him out of snow and then stuck a real hat on top. I did a really good one the other year when Strictly Come Dancing was the craze so I made an Ann Widdecombe one.
   I got my Dad to escort me to and from school all of last week because I was not risking slipping over on the utter death trap that is the pavements. I do not understand how I can get overtaken by the tarts taking their tarty little tart steps across the ice in their tarty little ballet pumps. Anyone who has experienced this is thinking the same thing I reckon..."please fall!"
    I hope this did tide you over.
Ria xx

Me and my Calculator.



This is me!

    My best friend is my calculator. It's the cleverest "person" I know and even does tricky maths stuff for me. Yes it can be rude at times, flashing "B00B5" in my face at regular intervals but you learn to live with it.
   And to think I nearly lost him forever on Wednesday afternoon in a foolish act of idiocy on my part. Yes...I lent him to Ellen.
   "Reeeeeeerr?" Ellen slurred in her infamous twang.
   "What?"
   "Can I borrow your calculator?"
   "What for?" I inquired, clutching the calculator to my chest so hard that it got turned on...*that's not a euphemism*!
   "My general studies exam. I'll fail otherwise."
   "So?"
   "Oh pleeeeeeease Reeeeeeeeer, look at the one Dad gave me!" She held up a Casio 100BC.
   "I understand your pain."
   So I gave it to her and found I was sitting only 2 rows across from them both in the main hall so I could keep an eye on it. Ellen kept noticing throughout I was staring at her desk with clenched fists just incase the clumsy idiot knocked it off. I got really tense at the point where she attempted and failed to slide the lid back on over it...nearly knocked the pi button off didn't she?!
   Then we were reunited once more at 2:40pm. If you wish to picture this moment, imagine me in a meadow swinging it around to the lyrics "I can't see me loving nobody but you..." and you'll have it spot on.

Ria xx

late night ramble

This blog is really overdue because me and Ria had mock exams all week.

So I spent 2 weekends ago with my fabulous cousin , and we spent probably most of saturday night finding weird places to plank      (hahaha swap the pl for a w)
<< (i think my cousin won on originality). But this happy comedic mood got trampled, nay crushed by what was next to come....We watched Cold Mountain ...posibly the shiteist film the world had produced. So basically this woman waits around for the whole of the american civil war for her boyf to come home (he is home for an evening and then is shot) and loads of other main characters are killed, unfortunately not Nicole Kidman, we had to put up with her for the whole film.

Any way it was so funny in one of my exams,  some guy read the first question on the paper and slammed his head down on the desk for aprox 15 mins (I counted) I had to stop myself from laughing out loud because that would just be embarrassing.

Ria was very hesitant to lend me her precious caculator  (I don't break things that often Ria, just some of the time) ...she was watching me for most of the general studies exam , i could feel my ears burning from her worried glare , it was fine once i realised how not to put the lid back on.....anyway i only used it to make funny words when i finished early (type in 43114 - 1 = 43113 and then turn it upside down and in spells elleh, almost ellen ,,,mind blowing) .

I hope February brings you joy
Ellen x

Tediously linked happenings.



A piece of cake I dropped on the floor that I gave to Ellen*

    As I'm sure you know, Ellen is in love with Matt Smith so I saved her his face from my sister's birthday cake. She turned 4 on Saturday and when the time came to take her to see the 'vast selection' of cakes in ASDA, she ignored all the typical girly flowery nonsense, didn't even glance at the strangely cheerful face of Hannah Montana but darted straight to the lure of Matt Smith (or as she likes to call him"The Ugly Doctor". Anyway we grabbed it because there was this boy approaching behind us who wanted it and ours was the last one left.
   My sister is a bit of a geek-she even chose Mario and Luigi party plates and serviettes because her favourite game on the DS (that she can work better than me) is Mario Kart. Other presents she asked for that cool-big-sis bought for her were a 'Thomas the Tank Engine' playset and Harry Potter lego. I made a comment to my mum "she's such a toyboy" " a what?" "a toyboy :D " "you mean tomboy!" "...yes."
   Here's an intellectual Idiom for you-I was walking home (this time not accidently following a 12-year-old) and I walked past this gate that was clearly shut and locked. This bloke cycled up to the gate on his bike and then stopped when he realised it was shut, he looked at me, I looked at him thinking any moment now he would turn back round in embarrassment. He looks at me and then pretends he has the key to the gate and makes rattling sounds with the locks hoping I would hurry up and pass by. A couple of seconds later I look back round to see if he really did have this imaginary key, but insead he was trying to squeeze the bike through the railings.

To fabulous to be true

 So I watched this video with my brother yesterday and we watched it about 5 times , plus he's a manly man, so that means its good .....ENJOY !    Ellen x

I want to be Steve McQueen when I'm older

So I'm thinking about going for the part of Annie in the school musical seeing as i have red hair...joking i am. But i don't like it when people walk past the posters in school, point and say "look Ellen its you", some  year 7 walked past it and did that (obviously without the 'Ellen' bit...that would be weird).

My Art teacher told me that i had to be more like Steve McQueen, i don't know how that will help my tree painting, but i might turn up to school on a motorbike because apparently he rode one (and speak in an American accent which, Ria says, always comes out irish)
<< thats him looking cool.
Ellen x




GET WELL SOON VIA ! (she's ill) you missed great banter today!! oh and that person was dancing again, but this time in time to the music, wasn't funny with out you...I laughed on my own and looked like a twat

I am Sherlocked

   It seems recently our blog has consisted of pictures of hot people we like who have happened to be on the telly in the previous week...
   It pains me to say we may be turning into a sort of watered down-*gulps* Tumblr.
   But we're getting more views than ever so here's another tasty picture to sink your teeth into.


I am Sherlocked.

    So to the left we have the wonderful Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.
   And I suppose I better add some commentary to it but I know your eyes are still fixated on the image.
   It's the final Sherlock tonight, to be honest when I read that Stephen Moffat (DARN YOU MOFFAT *whilst shaking fist at the sky*) was involved, I thought it would resemble the shambles he made Doctor Who into. But I was wrong-it's pretty darn good.
   Needless to say I have an excuse for why Moffat (DARN YOU MOFFAT) hadn't ruined this masterpiece...he didn't actually write it...which suggests, if he didn't write the story because it already exists, he couldn't have done an awful lot with the series to spoil it-he being a scriptwriter and all.

Ria x

BBC Edwin Drood



Dishy one on the left=FIT!

 FIT
(Ria wrote the above then Ellen crossed it out)
You know when you see an actor on telly who is ugly but you find him strangely alluring...?
No ria
Well, that's how I feel about Matthew Rhys, (inset left) the psycho murderer in Edwin Drood
makes a change from 40 yr olds ...wait he is 40
Exacty :D
the one on the right looks like a perve
I felt like a perve the other day...
how o.O
Right, I was walking home as you do...
as you do
And I was wearing these clippy cloppy boots.
where did these clippy cloppy boots go ria?
Well they make a distinct sound don't they? So there was this like 12 year old girl in front of me and I just happened to be walking down the same road as her for pretty much my entire journey.
is there a bush involved?
That's in the next blog...
excellent
so anyway she looked a bit uneasy and kept looking round at me. What made things worse is that she crossed the road and I did so at the same time because that's where my house is. So afterwards she quickened her pace and broke into a run. I felt so bad but wasn't going to change my route was I?
so you ran after her
but like my rucksack was pulling me back so I looked a bit odd and it was more like a gallop after her.
(dinasour impression) right
Ria and Ellen x
P.S in Ireland theres this great Fishing Rod shop and they taught me (ellen) how to use this pen knife thingy if i wanted to cut up a fish or if my dad happened to be tied up by an irish pirate i could cut at the rope to free him.

Ria can't deal with Male species.

   So Ria had to go do english work so everyone followed her to the pod where we discovered her tendancy to avoid all men nomatter how how good looking they might be.
         Anyway so we walked over to the pod only to discover that all but one computer was free.... the others were occupied by people of the male persuasion! So unnaturally to what you might expect, Ria walked seamlessly through one door and out the other barely glancing at the (jesus christ the sun) potentially dishy men.
    So two of the firiendlings insisted on standing inside the doorway (next to the males) and exclaimed at a million decibels "Ria Ria where u going? Theres a computer right here!"
   Ria was frantically gesturing cut throat actions ..somehow oblivious to this, one friendling carried on "But Ria, Ria theres a computer here" ..to which ria snarled through gritted teeth" I dont want to use the computer anymore"  .."Why" the friendlings pressed ..."(one eye getting bigger) I just remembered, I did this essay earlier"    "No you didn't" etc until Ria threatened to strangle her friendlings.
So that brings us to where we are now in the science pod ..awaaaay from the opposite sex , for Ria ..bless.

Shit lunchtime in art with people we don't know

   We are blogging on location in the Art department of our school. Mainly because there was nowhere to sit upstairs because our chairs got nicked by some big year 13 boys.
   Often, there's an awkward 5 minutes or so at lunchtime when you're waiting for your friends to turn up so we all like to play a special role playing game with ourselves called "pretend you're waiting for a friend" in which we pretend to be texting the friend in question in an over exagerated manner .. then look at the yr 13s and give a suggestive look that the friend is coming any minute now...but they're not.
   We seem to be in a room with loads of vegetarians .
   Well this was our first conglomerated blog!
Ellen & Ria xx

Just a late Christmas present

For all of you who are not interested in science but however love Period Dramas here is a picture of Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey (just so your time here isn't completely wasted)
.. just something to look at as we wait for series 3 !!!
So me and ria (as i type) are having a hilarious conversation about our future career in the spoof business. It started off with Doctor Who parodies on Facebook, and then we turned the wall posts into scripts during our free I.C.T lessons, but now we are going HUGE...turning the classic books into parodies !!!
For example-
Ria "Pride and Pedophilia" Me "Wuthering cunts" Ria "The not-to-shabby gatsby" Me "sense and twats" etc etc.. If you were to dissect our brains you would probably find in graved a load of pointless information in mine (and the lyrics to every Florence and the Machine song) and Brian coxs mobile number in Ria's !
 The Pink Floyd Album Dark Side of The Moon stayed on the top 200 Billboard charts for 14 years...mind blowing
Ellen x